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‘It will be a long journey,’ he said with finality, admitting his own inevitable defeat. ‘Three days to Leningrad with the railroads as they are.’ He looked at her longingly, protectively. ‘From there? I cannot say. But you should be prepared to travel for a week, perhaps longer.’ She nodded, tried to smile. ‘Is it as cold as I’ve heard?’ ‘Colder.’ She sighed, tried to laugh but found only the infinite white drifts of despair without end calling her name. She walked to the window and looked out into the forest, saw a firefly drifting among the trees… ‘There was an old man, in the woods,’ she heard herself asking. ‘He was, I think, saying prayers. When I saw him he was kneeling in a shallow depression, it felt as if the earth had swallowed up something when I found that place. Do you know anything about him?’ He looked at the innocence of an age betrayed on her face, at numbers tattooed on the inside of her arm, then at the truth of her words. Would she ever really be able to hear. Catheters only work for number ones. He promised me some bone broth at lunchtime if all went well.Sitting up was a trip. Over the course of an hour they gradually raised me until I was sitting pretty much straight up in the bed. The nurse explained that my body had to remember how to regulate blood pressure when the brain was elevated. It then took two orderlies and a physical therapist to help me get to sitting on the edge of the bed. I gripped the mattress whilst my head and stomach spun. I was glad that they hadn’t let me eat anything — it probably would have ended up sprayed over the floor and the physical therapist. She was an attractive brunette in her mid-thirties, but as with all rehabilitation professionals she ran a fine line between effective therapist and asexual sadist. Three hours after the whole thing began, I was standing upright with my feet on the ground for the first time since I had stepped up onto the blocks nineteen days earlier.They helped me walk to the.
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